What are boundaries and how do they affect our relationships?
Do people treat you like a doormat? Do you feel like you don’t get the same respect you give to others? Are you always being the “rescuer” and being taken advantage of? Maybe you need to set healthier boundaries.
Boundaries are extremely important. Boundaries define our:
- Identity
- Value
- Destiny
Learn to say: “I know my identity, value, and destiny in Life, therefore (insert healthy boundary here).”
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April 16th, 2010 at 3:31 pm
“Enforcing boundaries” would be a good follow-up as I know I’m the type of person that may say, “Oh yeah, I have boundaries here,” but then when confronted about actually using them, I’ll back down and become a wimp. Being assertive would be another term for this same idea of setting limits and keeping them. The idea of putting a CAP on life has its appeal. Create, Advance or Protect Life, nice acronym forming there Ed.
Another side to this is how to try to get deeper relationships though. I know that my relationships with my father and sister for example tend to be rather hard for me to have though I’m not sure they would see the problem. It’s strange how I can seem to know so much about their lives yet I don’t think they know as much about me. I’ll acknowledge that part of it could be that I can be a bit like a turtle when it comes to some things in my life. If I feel threatened or attacked, I’ll stay inside my nice warm shell, thank you very much. At the same time, if I’m encouraged and welcomed, I can come out just as easily it seems. At least that seems to be something I’ve noticed now compared to where I was 6 months ago where I’d question, “Should I say this?” or “Is that worth putting out there?” that now I’ll just ask the question or share the comment.
April 16th, 2010 at 4:44 pm
Yes enforcing boundaries is a part of our “Conflict Management” series next week. It all follows the same principles.
Good reflection there JB.