Chapter 3: Escape
Your calling can often feel more like a curse than a blessing. It’s natural to sometimes question whether it’s really worth it or not. It’s not whether or not you question, but how you respond to these questions that legitimizes your worth in Life or only reinforces a false self.There are those that have heard their calling, and their message, but attempt to escape the cost it requires to really make a difference. Or one can go so far as to attempt to twist a calling into something that is safe and self-serving. At this point, Life is relegated to be no more than a vending machine that dispenses destiny by request. In the end, this approach becomes performance-based and actually is a form of religion conditional on what you want to do instead of who you really are meant to be. It’s not fair to yourself, or Life.
Why do we try to escape when deep in our spirits we know what we’re to do? Pride is where it all starts. Shame is where it ends.
Once we get a taste of our destinies, our natural desire is to seek control. Control is safe. We want the power to control Life.
We cannot control Life. We’re not in control of anything really. If we had such control why can it be all taken away so easily? It only takes a chance encounter, unexpected illness or random act of violence and trauma to wrestle control from our clenched fists.
The problem with control is we often use it for self-sabotage. Self-sabotage happens whenever you move in the opposite direction or make choices that disqualify you from your calling. This is the prerogative of free will. The opportunity to give ourselves fully to Life or hide and strive to cover our shame is completely within our control. In our culture, never had we more resources or power to “buy our own tickets.” But what good is it to purchase a ticket only to discover we have arrived at the wrong destination?
Why do we self-sabotage then?
Have you ever been in the presence of somebody who seems to have the ability to “stare into your soul?” Have you ever felt completely exposed and vulnerable by this? You just want to say, “Stop looking at me like that!” This is what it is like to be in the presence of Life. You can’t hide from Life. Life is all around you and lingers within everything you do. And because for the most part, we don’t like ourselves very much (some less than others), which is the manifestation of shame, the idea of being naked in the presence of Life can be too much to handle. So we seek control and ultimately decide to self-sabotage. It is self-medication from the pain of self-loathing.
Your calling requires you to go places, say things, defend your convictions and be thrust into the unknown completely out of your control. This is how we grow. And the unpopular truth is we grow best in obscurity–when nobody is feeding our ego. Humility is the fertilizer of character. You never see fertilizer work. You only see the results after a season of patience. There is no spotlight, no cheering crowd, no glory.
There is only Life.
You can’t escape it.
Trust it.
Follow Life to your destiny.
Blessing: May you choose to follow Life today wherever your calling takes you. May you trust Life and accept that you are not in control and that you will not self-sabotage your destiny.
Response: I choose to follow Life today wherever my calling takes me. I trust Life and accept I am not in control and will not self-sabotage my destiny.
