June 22, 2010

The Heroic Husband & Parachute Dreams

By edkang99

Based on a True Story…

A man had a dream about his marriage. In his dream he was skydiving with his wife when her parachute refused to open. Seeing her in danger he quickly responded and began diving towards her and struggled to pull her parachute on his wife’s behalf.

After several attempts with no success, she simply looked at him and told him to give up and let her fall to her death. It was a gesture of self sacrifice but also one that showed how much hope was lost for her.

But the husband refused. He would not let her die and would himself die trying to save her and their marriage.

The result? They both landed softly.

This man asked me for my interpretation on this dream. I had nothing but praise for him because in the last few months, he has grown into a man of faith and honour I completely respect because he is willing to face his own darkness and Gaps to become the husband and father he is called to be. He has taken his responsibility for his marriage to a whole new level. Trust me when I tell  you how brutal and honest I have been with him. I know him and his wife will be fine. He has even challenged me to step up in my marriage. We are going to journey together because I am by no means perfect.

My interpretation was an encouragement. Was it the fact that he struggled to rescue her or the miracle of landing softly that saved them? It was both. We must learn to fight for our convictions and relationships. Even if the other party has given up hope. But at the same time regardless if all seems lost, learn to trust that everything will be ok. Not every landing is a soft one but Life has a way of coming through and making everything work out.

Learn to fight.

Trust Life.

May more husbands become heroic like my friend.

Be blessed.

1 comment | posted in Archives

June 14, 2010

Are You Trying to Escape Your Calling? DRAFT Excerpt from “Re:LIFE & The Modern Monastics” by Ed Kang

By edkang99

Chapter 3: Escape

Your calling can often feel more like a curse than a blessing. It’s natural to sometimes question whether it’s really worth it or not. It’s not whether or not you question, but how you respond to these questions that legitimizes your worth in Life or only reinforces a false self.
 
There are those that have heard their calling, and their message, but attempt to escape the cost it requires to really make a difference. Or one can go so far as to attempt to twist a calling into something that is safe and self-serving. At this point, Life is relegated to be no more than a vending machine that dispenses destiny by request. In the end, this approach becomes performance-based and actually is a form of religion conditional on what you want to do instead of who you really are meant to be. It’s not fair to yourself, or Life.
 
Why do we try to escape when deep in our spirits we know what we’re to do? Pride is where it all starts. Shame is where it ends.
 
Once we get a taste of our destinies, our natural desire is to seek control. Control is safe. We want the power to control Life.
 
We cannot control Life. We’re not in control of anything really. If we had such control why can it be all taken away so easily? It only takes a chance encounter, unexpected illness or random act of violence and trauma to wrestle control from our clenched fists.
 
The problem with control is we often use it for self-sabotage. Self-sabotage happens whenever you move in the opposite direction or make choices that disqualify you from your calling. This is the prerogative of free will. The opportunity to give ourselves fully to Life or hide and strive to cover our shame is completely within our control. In our culture, never had we more resources or power to “buy our own tickets.” But what good is it to purchase a ticket only to discover we have arrived at the wrong destination?
 
Why do we self-sabotage then?
 
Have you ever been in the presence of somebody who seems to have the ability to “stare into your soul?” Have you ever felt completely exposed and vulnerable by this? You just want to say, “Stop looking at me like that!” This is what it is like to be in the presence of Life. You can’t hide from Life. Life is all around you and lingers within everything you do. And because for the most part, we don’t like ourselves very much (some less than others), which is the manifestation of shame, the idea of being naked in the presence of Life can be too much to handle. So we seek control and ultimately decide to self-sabotage. It is self-medication from the pain of self-loathing.
 
Your calling requires you to go places, say things, defend your convictions and be thrust into the unknown completely out of your control. This is how we grow. And the unpopular truth is we grow best in obscurity–when nobody is feeding our ego. Humility is the fertilizer of character. You never see fertilizer work. You only see the results after a season of patience. There is no spotlight, no cheering crowd, no glory.
 
There is only Life.
 
You can’t escape it.
 
Trust it.
 
Follow Life to your destiny.
 
Blessing: May you choose to follow Life today wherever your calling takes you. May you trust Life and accept that you are not in control and that you will not self-sabotage your destiny.
 
Response: I choose to follow Life today wherever my calling takes me. I trust Life and accept I am not in control and will not self-sabotage my destiny.

5 comments | posted in Archives

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